Recently I’ve started baking my own goodies from scratch. Here are some of the reasons:

  1. Grain Free Brownies are so yummy! Yaaaay! Also, my nutritionist says I can eat them. (recipe below)
  2. You can’t do this with store bought brownies:
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    And because they’re grain free, it’s safe to eat the batter raw!

     

  3. Also, playing with your food is a sign of maturity
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    These brownies smile because they’re mature.

     

Recipe:

  • 2 eggs
  • A lot of sugar (like a cup or something)
  • A tiny bit of salt (like less than a teaspoon)
  • More oil than you think you should consume in a week (like a half a cup of coconut oil)
  • A cup-ish of Almond flour
  • Half the amount of flour in chocolate powder
  • Half the amount of flour in sesame kinako (or some other color of protein powder or just some more almond powder)

Rules of cooking:

Mix the sugar with the salt, and then mix with the oil into a soft pasty mash of wonderfulness. Do not eat yet for this is pure jetfuel and will make your eyes pop out of your face. Then mix the eggs in. At this point your batter should be somewhat soupy, kind of like a good pancake batter.

Then you wanna mix your powders. Mix a separate bowl of chocolate-almond powder and kinako-almond powder using basically the same amount of almond in both. Split your soupy wet batter in half and mix some with the chocolate part and some with the kinako part. Pour into a pan that looks like it’s the right size. If you don’t line it with baking paper you should rub it down with some more coconut oil first. Sample, because c’mon, and make it look pretty. Here is a good time to make penis and boob shapes in your batter.

Now that you’re done playing with your TOTALLY SAFE TO EAT RAW AS LONG AS YOU USED GOOD EGGS batter, bake it at 180ºC (or 350º if you live in that weird country that doesn’t like to use numbers that make sense) for something around 30 minutes, but not too much longer because they’ll get dry or turn into gremlins. Take out of the oven and eat immediately because if you had the patience to wait until they were cooled you probably didn’t need me to give you a recipe.

YAAAY FOR GRAIN AND GLUTEN FREE BROWNIES THAT MAKE MY MOUTH AND MY INSIDES HAPPY!!!!!!

PS. I highly recommend these as race and workout fuel. They’re full of protein and good oils and easy to carry.

PPS. If you couldn’t notice I don’t believe in following precise directions. It’s been 20 years since I actually followed a recipe. This is what I call “low stress baking.”

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